He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
