Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
