this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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