I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
