we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
