sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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