dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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