i permit you to call me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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