Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
