How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think I am morally bankrupt
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
