I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
