I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
