he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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