I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
