yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
there is puke in my bra ... again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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