why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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