Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
