Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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