are you still at the devil's house?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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