this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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