Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
