Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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