I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
