Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize