You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
