just survived the first fart of the relationship.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
