did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
