I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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