If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
