I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ketchup is God's man juice
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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