when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
