dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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