I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
and she was petting her beer can
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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