So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize