I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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