the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
