Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Who died my cat blue again?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
