Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
