I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Damn victory sex feels great
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
