what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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