i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
