I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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