this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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