I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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