Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
