party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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