it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
