Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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