You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
