Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
