So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
a search helicopter?!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
