I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
