guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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