how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
